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CHURCH BIZARRE
CHURCH BIZARRE
Sinister Glorification
(Hells Headbangers Records)
44:55min

As I listen to this latest from Hells Headbangers, I can't help but think they have better in their roster, and of whom need more publicity and support than these five Danes. Of whom I have recently been told split up?! Is that right? Wasn't this the case with one of the last CDs that I reviewed from HHB Records, they were also Danes... Wasn't it VICTIMIZER? I'll be damned if I am wrong. It was VICTIMIZER! What is really going on or going rotten in Denmark?! Do you all just form bands, fuck around, record some shit, and then disband on a whim?! I don't get it, you would think the Danes, what with their history of Metal bands like MERCYFUL FATE / KING DIAMOND (even though King Billy did move to the States ages ago... as did Mikkey Dee...) would have at least some wherewithal to stick around awhile and make a name for themselves. I mean there is nothing "cult" about not having anyone, except a fortunate label owner capable or fast enough to follow your band's footsteps to advance you recording fees prior to you all deciding to call it a day and pulling the pin. Ultimately disappearing into the same smoke filled void that you crawled out of. In fact it's fucking lame to be wholly honest. Anyhow - onto the music... What is presented here on this ten song debut is nothing spectacular, nothing lavish, nothing memorable, nothing your gonna search high and low for in 10 years time or even twenty. The CHURCH BIZARRE is just standard, run of the mill, archaic Black Metal. Written and delivered by 5 lost souls who fail in every attempt to convert me and convince this writer that they are in fact a force to be remembered or reckoned with. Sadly it has taken me this entire record's worth to sit here and tell you this, and that the only venerable worth mentioning about this CD are the actual song titles! As they are without question truly the only highlight here. 'Votaries Of Below', 'Into The Dark (Where Witches Burn)', 'Redeemer And The Scythe', 'The Mighty Sword Of Cain', 'Inscribed In The Black Book Of Death ', 'Prophet Of Disease' and 'Foaming Mouth Of Mankind's Tomb'. Those are some cool titles, right? And wasted on half hearted, shitty Black Metal. Is there anything more annoying?! Contact: www.churchbizarre.dk or www.myspace.com/churchbizarre or www.hellsheadbangers.com

Wes Rhodes

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