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DARKTHRONE
DARKTHRONE
Circle The Wagons
(Peaceville Records)
40:50min

Ok this is a joke right Frank? I inadvertantly got the CD of some tenth rate Black'n'Roll band who has a couple of guys who think they can sing sometimes (or were told by their sycophantic friends or record co. people that they could) and was sent off to me as the new DARKTHRONE! Haha I get the joke because... wait. You mean this really is the new DARKTHRONE album?! What a fuckin almost utter piece of garbage! Sounds like a couple of guys who's brains are fried because of too much pot smoking in a cabin in the Norwegian woods and anothers brain is fried coz of too much ecstasy while doing his techno DJ job! Enough of this self righteous DARKTHRONE bullshit!! I was a DARKTHRONE fan, but for the longest time they have been putting out pathetic extremely sub par shit and then take the "powerful" stance of "well,we don't care what you say!" Fuck you DARKTHRONE!! Yeah I fuckin said it! A bunch of disjointed pieces put together as "songs" and some good riffs, that's the good part. But it all comes crashing down when the vocals and the drum patterns come in (like the most recent VOIVOD albums for example) the riffs are there, but that's it. They think they can sing so we get the "benefit" of that and they don't sound that bad but it doesn't work either! At least we get a solid production this time not a mish mash of different sound because "their majesties" DARKTHRONE felt like it. Let me tell their majesties DARKTHRONE: you are full of shit # 1. # 2 Get your head out of your ass and be DARKTHRONE again! I mean as far as I have seen all of these last albums have been nothing but a bunch of "Cold Lakes" (although I'll listen to "Cold Lake" before these last DARKTHRONE albums). Punk? We don't need no stinkin Punk! This is supposed to be Black fuckin Metal! Unless you're brain is fried by too much ecstasy! Speed... do you still remember how to play fast DARKTHRONE? Nope. And those "Heavy Metal" parts that you have in the songs! Fuck! They are so funny!! There's a reason this type of Heavy Metal is not to many of our tastes: it's cheesy and funny! It brings no power or greatness to an already great genre, rather it demeans it! And that's what DARKTHRONE does on this album. As a serious album this is nothing but a fuckin joke! As a joke album it's not even the best joke / comedy album of the year!! That honor is reserved to all MAYHEM albums after Euronymos' death and especially when their drummer decides to put on a triggered drum clinic on each song which he does on each album! I think NECROHOLOCAUST from Canada said it best when they said "Fuck Norway!" When all the dust settles I am not surprised, this album comes from a band that has completely changed styles before! So they are the Madonna's of "Black" Metal! So by that rationale let's just wait a couple of albums and DARKTHRONE will change their style again (like Madonna!). But for now, forget DARKTHRONE. And except for those classic first four albums and a couple of good ones after that, I know I already have. More info at: www.darkthrone.no, www.myspace.com/officialdarkthrone, www.peaceville.com

Luis M.L. Sallard

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